So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
