Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
