I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
