how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
