I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
