The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
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No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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