so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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