You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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