I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
one two three fourrrrnication!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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