Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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