i think my mom watched the whole time
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
