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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
