If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
