I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
