Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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