You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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