i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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