Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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