we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My penis needs a shock collar
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
