this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
