come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
