I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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