Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
