All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drake has all the answers
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
