Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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