i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize