If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
