Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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