I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
