ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
