White coat. Heels.
Sry I called you an 8
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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