I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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