I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
