I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just pynch a tree in the face
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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