I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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