How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
