he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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