last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
what day is it and did you see me today?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
