i don't like sucking hair
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My ATM looks so different sober.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Mom said you looked used
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
