I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize