I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
