Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
