I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
