Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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