How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
