Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
