Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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