Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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