Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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