i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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