i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Say something about gay babies.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
