we made out on top of his cat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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