as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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