so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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