Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
