I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
