all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
