She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
