He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
