Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
