I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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