Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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